tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72027933362393162822024-03-12T16:23:07.396-07:00Bellamy's belles lettresBellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-12653887102986273042012-08-14T14:56:00.002-07:002012-08-14T14:56:34.239-07:00Are you English?I was out for a walk today, taking a break from the mischief and mayhem I call writing, and my first time around the loop I smiled and said hello to an older couple walking toward me. A woman, on the higher end of middle-aged, and a man, older than she; they said hello back.<br />
<br />
Saw them again my second time around the loop, and shot a friendly smile their way. The woman approached me. "Excuse me," she called, "may I ask you a question?" I nod and she approaches me. "Are you English?", she asks in a clearly British accent.<br />
<br />
"English?" I ask. "I'm American, actually."<br />
<br />
"Oh! We thought you may have been English. Americans never stop to say hello or hi."<br />
<br />
I stared at her incredulously. "Really? I didn't know that." Where I'm from, <i>everyone </i>says hi; I'm from a stereotypically "nice" state.<br />
<br />
"Well, we were just wondering," she said, smiling. "Thank you for the hello!"<br />
<br />
I grinned. "You're welcome--it was nice to say hi! Enjoy your walk!"<br />
<br />
I spent the rest of my walk smiling about it. I'm delighted to have unintentionally fooled anyone into thinking I was British, and I'm also grateful for the Easter egg. There I was, walking and contemplating my British character, and what do I happen upon but two accents in the middle of the park? <i>Love </i>it.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-10437565986967094752012-04-30T16:14:00.001-07:002012-04-30T16:14:08.043-07:00Updates and rants.A brief update: I'm hard at work editing the book. I'm also 5,000+ words deep into my second book, which I'm having a ton of fun writing. I'm plotting how to get them published (yes, <i>plotting</i>, just because it sounds mildly evil). I'm proud of what I've done and can't wait to (eventually, hopefully) get these babies out into the world!<br />
<br />
A not-so-brief rant: I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that this<i> 50 Shades of Grey</i> bullshit is making every woman I know giggle and blush so much. I'm a little bit outraged by the fact that this book is at the top of the bestseller lists, yet it's a poorly-written piece of S&M lite that was originally Twilight fan fiction. Stop to consider how poorly-written Twilight was...and now imagine this equation: poorly-written + sexsexsex - vampires and sparkles. That's what this book is. Is every freakin' woman you know getting all gooey-eyed and giggly about this book? Because that's what I'm seeing on my Facebook wall, my Pinterest, etc. And they're acting like they're all badass because they're reading this book. *evil chuckles* Wanna read <i>my </i>book, Little Miss Badass Wannabe? You might have trouble getting to sleep afterward...<br />
<br />
On the other hand: Maybe it's a good thing that legions of women are really into this trilogy. Maybe it's just opening up their minds to the concept of submission so that when my book comes out, it won't be as shocking to them. Mind you, it'll definitely seem at least somewhat out there to most people--but not as out there as it would be if it was your first-ever time reading about anything kinky. Granted, what I've written is a lot edgier than what that trilogy's all about, and they may very well not like the ending of what I wrote. But a reader is a reader is a reader, no matter whether they like the book or not, whether they have good taste in what they read or not, no matter how shockable they are or aren't. And I want readers. <br />
<br />
Even if they're readers of "mommy porn."<br />
<br />
Even if I'm too edgy for them.<br />
<br />
Even if they hate my book.<br />
<br />
I want readers.<br />
<br />
And this silly trilogy might make it easier for me to get 'em.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-42461272268152158782012-01-24T18:10:00.000-08:002012-01-24T18:18:16.586-08:00On waiting.<span style="font-family: georgia;">So today I read this article--</span><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2012/01/how-do-we-identifiy-good-ideas/">How do we identify good ideas?</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">--and it's very relevant to what my life has been like lately. I liked this bit the best:</span><br style="font-family: georgia;"><p style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">How can the rest of us get better at identifying our best ideas? One key lesson from this research is that distraction and dilettantism come with real benefits, as they give the unconscious a chance to assess its new ideas. This reminds me of a wise piece of advice from Zadie Smith, which she dished out to aspiring novelists:</p><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;"> </span><p style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">“When you finish your novel, if money is not a desperate priority, if you do not need to sell it at once or be published that very second — put it in a drawer. For as long as you can manage. A year or more is ideal — but even three months will do…You need a certain head on your shoulders to edit a novel, and it’s not the head of a writer in the thick of it, nor the head of a professional editor who’s read it in twelve different versions.” </p><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;"> </span><p style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Smith, in other words, is telling writers to forget about their work, to give the mind some time to weigh the worth of all those words. And that’s because we have no idea which ideas are worthwhile, at least at first. So the next time you invent something new, don’t immediately file a patent, or hit the “publish” button, or race to share the draft with your editor. Instead, take a few days off: play a stupid video game, or go for a long walk, or sleep on it. Unless you take a brief break, you won’t be able to accurately assess what you’ve done. </span><br /></p><p style="font-family: georgia;">Yep, that's what life's been like with me lately. I have been completely ignoring the book I finally freakin' finished. I've looked at it once. Edited one page, then put it down. (I did, however, change the working title: It's now <span style="font-style: italic;">Supernova</span>, which is a kind of perfect that I'll explain to you at a later date.)</p><p style="font-family: georgia;">I'm still getting flashes of Sasha/Riley conversation as well as Sasha insight. Often in the middle of the night, like most good ideas. I end up texting them to my email account, filing them away for when I edit. I keep mentally nitpicking at the parts I know are weaker, brainstorming ways to fix them. When I come up with concrete ideas for fixes, I email myself those, too. I think I'm very much on my way to making <span style="font-style: italic;">Supernova </span>exactly what I want it to be.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;">But not just yet.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;">I'm already writing my next story, the first of what I hope to be seven books. No, it's not the next Harry Potter. I just feel like 7 books is right for these characters. I love the main character and feel like I know more about her each day. My desk is covered with notes about her, plot points, etc. In just two quick--like probably no longer than an hour, total--I already had 1,200+ words. This story, I suspect, can be more easily written than the one that's here in its binder next to me.</p><p style="font-family: georgia;">The one I'm editing in my head, but not on paper. Not just yet.</p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">(The time will come, and I'll know when. I don't know now, but I will know then. Writer's instinct, or something like that. Just trust me.)</span><br /></p>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-91942106045934828802011-12-21T15:57:00.000-08:002012-01-24T18:19:17.683-08:00It's done!<span style="font-family:georgia;">Delayed reaction post. I actually finished draft 1 of the book (working title: <span style="font-style: italic;">[redacted due to working title change]</span></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">) almost a week ago, December 15. It came in at over 72,000 words, and I know that during the editing/rewriting process, I'll be adding a little more. I'm guesstimating that the final draft will be around 75,000 words, which is what I was originally aiming for.</span><br style="font-family:georgia;"><br style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm really psyched to get started on the editing/rewriting. I already made a list of goals for the editing process. I don't think it'll take more than 3-4 months to edit/rewrite the parts I want to rewrite/add a couple new chapters. And then I get to start playing the "find an agent" game...</span><br style="font-family:georgia;"><br style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">I sent the draft out to be printed (lord knows my crappy little printer couldn't handle that many pages without annoying the ever-loving shit out of me), and I just picked it up today. I admit I squealed when I got back into the car, printed draft in hand. I may have even let out an "Omigod, </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family:georgia;" >I wrote this</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">!!!!!!" (oh yes, it was said in a manner that 6 exclamation points are necessary to convey my point).</span><br style="font-family:georgia;"><br style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm thrilled and proud that I've done this much. But there is so much left to do...</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-15973116623189857042011-09-30T21:08:00.000-07:002011-12-21T16:08:50.497-08:00Psychopomps.There have been psychopomps all around me the past few days.<br /><br />Not in the forms of sparrows a la <em>The Dark Half</em>. Not like that. But in the forms of things that give me a jolt like the icy finger of the ghost of a long-lost loved one, tapping me on the shoulder when it doesn;t even belong in this world.<br /><br />These things I've seen and heard, they're like the manifestations of ghosts. The image of a ship and murky teal water. A familiar beat over the stereo at a restaurant. The image of a park trail that brought back memories...but no, the trail in this picture was too wide, too open, with less congested trees. Not the same park, but for a moment...<br /><br />They're ghosts of what might have been. They're ghosts of what never was. I see them, let them startle me for a moment, and then let them go. Where they go isn't for me to know. But I've done a lot of work regarding getting him out of my head, so these ghosts have no place in my world anymore.<br /><br />The more I let go, the more I let in. More ideas, more characters. For the first time in years, I am solely focused on one person. For the first time in ever, I have given him all of me that I can possibly give. He even, dare I say it, gets my crazy writer side. He gets why I was haunted for so long.<br /><br />I'll let these little things be psychopomps. Carry the soul of what had been briefly born between two people to somewhere else, some other world. Each experience jolts me for a second, but my shoulders feel a little bit lighter every time.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-18470012952591908092011-04-17T09:47:00.000-07:002011-04-17T10:02:03.195-07:00Home stretch.<span style="font-family: georgia;">It's hard to believe that finally, after all this time, I'm in the home stretch. I have fewer than 20,000 words to write in order to reach my goal word count. I don't think that will be too difficult. I've had a couple writing sessions lately during which I've sat there and written a thousand words in an hour. If I keep up that pace, it's just 20 more hours, or 20 more writing sessions, until I can consider the first draft finished. It hardly seems real.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I want to finish this sucker, print it out, and get red all over it. I want red everywhere that needs tightening, modification, additional words and thoughts, a better word or thought than the one that's already written there, etc. I love to edit, and I've been resisting the temptation to do so the whole time I've been writing the book. I keep having to give myself this anti-editing pep talk: "Bellamy, you remember the last time you started editing a story. You ended up with nothing left of it because you were really hard on yourself. So don't look back, and don't hit the delete key; move forward and write, and save it all, and then when it's all done--yes, </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">all</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">--you can wield that red pen. But only when it's time."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Soon it will be time.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I can't say how long it'll take me to finish. It could be weeks, or it could be months. And it doesn't matter to me, as long as at the end of this story--when it's all written and edited--it feels right.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">These days I've been waking up with the characters talking in my head again. Sasha and Riley have full conversations lately in between my ears, and in so doing, they nudge me to get up and write. And so I shall.</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-92136522393171796382011-01-24T15:36:00.000-08:002011-01-24T15:39:52.552-08:00When I'm at my worst--I'm also at my best.<div><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm a big fan of Californication. Although I don't screw up as much as Hank Moody does, I can relate to him. Like all writers, he's trying to write something while he's fully immersed in the chaos of life. And in last night's episode, when he's hit rock bottom again, something in him snapped. When he really felt like he had nothing left--Karen was mad at him Becca was angry with him, he's got lawsuits to deal with, he doesn't have a ton of money--he isolated himself from the world, and sat down to start bangin' that screenplay out of his trusty typewriter.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">I've been there.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">I'm there right now.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">I don't know what's going to happen. My brain is equal parts swelled with love and logic. But I do know this: the more angry I am, the more in pain I am, the better I can write. It's the way I've always been.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">I wrote another 1,000+ words last night. Three more chapters.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">And they're damn good.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <div style="font-family: georgia;">Exactly the way I wanted them to be.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div> <div style="font-family: georgia;"> </div> <span style="font-family:georgia;">Even if everything in my own life is not.</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-44019739475345476832011-01-10T20:36:00.000-08:002011-01-10T21:09:04.226-08:00Unselfishness shining through.<span style="font-family: georgia;">I was ready to rock and roll with the writing tonight. Maybe I still am. But I have a little roadblock. My character S. is really kind of...selfish. Manipulative. Opportunistic. And I'd come home from work tonight feeling dark and twitchy enough to write her, and write her well.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Then I found out that the person I care the most about was in the hospital today. He told me after he got back--he hadn't wanted to worry me. He has a serious disease, and it was flaring up in a way he hadn't experienced before.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">It was like somebody flipped a switch in my brain. I am extremely unselfish around this man. More unselfish than I have ever been around anyone. I would much, much, </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">much </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">prefer that I am in pain than have him in pain. The worst feeling in the world for me is when he is in pain and I can't fix it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I can't fix this.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">And I don't deal well with that.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">It's taken a lot of the wind out of me for tonight. The wind that was effectively able to write a rather selfish character, anyway.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I'd exchange all the written words I have in me for him to be healed. (I wish it were that easy.)</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-54170152760808435862011-01-09T20:36:00.000-08:002011-01-09T20:51:38.134-08:00Dark places.<span style="font-family: georgia;"><br />The more I write--and oh yes, I've been writing--the more I feel like I'm descending into a cave. I'm exploring the darkest places. The darkest ideas. They're part of this story, and therefore they're also part of me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Sometimes I'm actually depressed because of it. If you hang around in the dark long enough, your eyes get used to it; you sometimes forget what the light looks like. While I'm generally a reasonably happy person (at least for a twisted writer), even in my happy moments lately I feel like there's perpetually this gnarled, sinister hand touching my elbow, beckoning me to places that most people simply don't go.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">But I have to go to these places. For the good of the story. And to some degree for the good of me. Annoyingly self-analytical me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." --Nietzsche</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-47166036944263971362010-11-16T19:18:00.001-08:002010-11-16T20:02:15.468-08:00Guilty.Yeah, I feel seriously guilty when I'm not writing the book.<br /><br />Mind you, I've been writing other things. I haven't been a total lazy-ass. And right now I'm sick with several different maladies in addition to being annoyed at everything and anything for no real reason at all. Not exactly the most productive sort of writing mood. I feel weak in health as well as weak in spirit. It'll pass, but right now I'm mentally berating myself for not being able to write just one lousy goddamn chapter.<br /><br />My muses have been influencing me like crazy. Shall I start referring to them as the cliched devil and angel on my shoulders? They both affect me so deeply, and they're both having a profound impact on this story. They've been flooding my twisted little brain lately, and yet all I'm able to do is blog about how lame I am for not having the energy to write about them.<br /><br />Tomorrow, though. I hope.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-72674344518361459722010-11-11T17:58:00.000-08:002010-11-11T18:00:56.556-08:00True story.<div>"You're adorable," he told me this morning, standing there in his underwear, looking down at me, blushing.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>"So are you," I said, stepping up on my tippy-toes to kiss him.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>"I mean it," he said, nudging me back to being flat on my feet. "I say you're adorable, but I really do adore you."<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>"And I adore *you*," I said for hopefully the first of many times, running my hands gently over his cheeks--surprised but pleased to hear whispers in my head, the soft sounds of two characters stirring as they, too, began to wake up...<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div style="text-align: center;">* * * * *<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> <div>Characters are melting pots. As the original idea for a character bubbles in its base form on the stove, I start adding things. A cup of <span style="font-style: italic;"> that </span>him, the original concept. A few spoonfuls of <span style="font-style: italic;">this </span>him, to make that him seem more likable, more deserving of being cared about. A dash of my natural reaction to <span style="font-style: italic;">each </span>him. A pinch of my feelings for each. A shot of my own imagination, for that fiction factor. But we know that fictional characters are often anything but fiction--or at least anything but <span style="font-style: italic;">complete </span>fiction. They're this strange brew of people we've known, things we've seen, feelings we've felt.<br /><br /></div> <div> </div> I have never been the best chef...but it seems I can cook up a very intriguing character soup.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-35085498480581428652010-10-31T14:02:00.000-07:002010-10-31T14:13:28.311-07:00Something<span style="font-family: georgia;">I didn't understand would be vital to how I write this story:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">How it feels to truly be in love with someone.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">(And I don't think I knew how that felt until recently.)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I have a better understanding now of what sorts of things S might be feeling toward B, as unrequited as some of those feelings are.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I've always thought this story was, to some degree, an anti-love story. Not so much, though. It's more a different kind of love than anti-love. A weird kind of love. The kind many people read about rather than experience.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I've experienced some of it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">And I'm going to infuse this story with it.</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-63088535106340141562010-10-25T11:41:00.000-07:002010-10-25T11:48:53.435-07:00.<span style="font-family: georgia;">Off from the day job for a few days to work on the book.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Inevitably, when I return, people will want to know how much I got done. Right now I've done three chapters. That number will surely increase.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">But what they don't understand is that novel work is not all about just the writing. You can't always measure your work in pages. For me, it's about:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Listening to that band whose work inspires me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Listening, for the first time, to Chopin.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Reading lyrics. Then rereading them again. And again. And...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Connecting with those people who inspire me, even though they might be bad for me. Good for the novel > bad for me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Reading things that other people have written (so much of writing is about reading--especially when you're constantly analyzing what you like and what you don't like, and what you think works or doesn't work in a story).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Revisiting well-loved monsters. Hello, Dexter; hello, Benjamin Linus. Nice to see you guys again.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Thinking about sex.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Pondering the details of the sequel. And the next book, totally unrelated to this one and its sequel. (But only writing </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">this </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">book at present. Let's not overwhelm ourselves, shall we?)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">* Taking long, hot showers. Often where I have some truly brilliant ideas.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I can honestly say that I've been working on this book all weekend long.</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-44130959883104937522010-10-03T12:21:00.000-07:002010-10-03T12:41:54.901-07:00Just a little shaken up.<span style="font-family: georgia;">When I write, I can't be too happy. I also can't be too angry or sad--that distracts me. But I have to be some sort of weird medium. I'd call it a happy medium, but...no. I generally don't write well when I'm too happy.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I need to be in a mindset where I'm more or less content, but am just a little shaken up by...something. Maybe an episode of Dexter really got to me. Maybe "Unintended" came on the MP3 player unexpectedly. Maybe something happened with someone to shake me up, to awaken my own dark passenger.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Like, for instance, hearing from him. I've mentioned him before. There have been many men over the course of me writing this book, but there's only one him. For the record, no, I'm not still nuts about him. (I'm nuts about someone else who is similarly nuts about me. That's a good feeling.) But that doesn't mean that his words don't affect me. They do--possibly more than anyone else's words do. Four sentences from him can trip me out just enough that my literary dark passenger uncurls itself, stands up, stretches its wings...and grabs a pen.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">He--</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">that </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">him again, he of the trip-me-out emails and text messages--wants very desperately to read this book. "It's art I know I want to read," he said. "It's you."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Except I don't think he knows that. I think he </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">thinks </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">that. Because if he ever does read this thing, I don't know that he's going to want to see it through to the end.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">But he's right about one thing. It </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">is </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">me.</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-68762084353574596852010-09-24T16:15:00.000-07:002010-09-24T17:01:00.361-07:00Fall is my best writing season; this fall is no exception.<span style="font-family: georgia;">I've been writing like crazy all week. It's fall, I'm inspired, I've had a bit more free time than usual, etc.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">I've been kinda down on myself for not writing more, or not writing more quickly. I have always been my own harshest critic.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Then I thought of something I was shocked I hadn't really considered before. </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">How many pages of single-spaced Microsoft Word pages equal one book page?</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> I was pleasantly surprised that the general consensus seems to think it's about 2 book pages per Microsoft Word page. I have 60 pages at present. So that would be approximately 120 book pages. I'm aiming to write something that's between 200-250 book pages (I'd originally been aiming for 300, but I think that would be overkill for this story). Which means I'm about halfway to my goal.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">Halfway </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">fucking </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">through</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">It doesn't feel like I'm that far along, but now just knowing that I actually </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">am </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">that far along makes me feel a renewed sense of optimism. It also makes me feel like I don't have to clutter the story up. I'd been worried that for my story to reach the amount of pages I'd originally wanted it to reach, I'd have to add more. Well, I like writing, but I don't like adding anything unnecessary--that'll take away from the story. I like keeping things succinct and concise. Knowing that I don't have as far to go as I originally thought I did to meet my "book pages" goal</span> makes me absolutely ecstatic.<br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">To add to the optimism, I was doing some research on the internet and came across an interview with an author whose books I don't even really like--but the interview offered up some extremely helpful tidbits of information both on her own publishing process and where to go to replicate some of the steps she took to get published. That whole "potentially getting published" thing brings a smile to my face.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">That being said, I won't have anything to publish if I don't go ahead and finish what I'm writing. Aiming for 70 typed Word pages by the weekend's end. Can I do it...? :)</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-981534013795043072010-06-14T16:45:00.000-07:002010-06-14T16:48:25.858-07:00This author nailed it... Figuratively speaking, of course!This. <span style="font-style: italic;">All </span>of this. So, <span style="font-style: italic;">so </span>true.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/karnoldi/2010/06/the-challenges-of-having-sexually-active-characters/">Read it by clicking here</a>. And remember to not jump to conclusions about the authors you read. ;)Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-17514587129782683032010-05-09T19:21:00.000-07:002010-05-09T19:42:33.729-07:00Doubled.My novel-writing work has doubled lately.<br /><br />See, I have always known that Starlight would have a sequel. But I never really knew what it would be about.<br /><br />Now I do. And I have the first four chapters written. And I really, <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>dig 'em.<br /><br />It seems to be helping me to write both novels concurrently. They're like yin and yang--they give one another balance. Perhaps one novel cannot exist without the other.<br /><br />So now I have two novels-in-progress*. When I am finished with both, I will approach agents about getting these babies published. And I think that the two books will be easier to get published than either one of them on its own. I'm confident. I can do this. This, and...now also the <span style="font-style: italic;">other</span> this. :)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">This, of course, is preferable to the also-entirely-accurate phrasing of "Oh, fuck, now I have TWO novels that aren't done yet." ;)</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-68823275731483876882010-04-11T16:07:00.000-07:002010-04-11T16:10:35.946-07:007!!!7 consecutive nights of story-writing. Yes--that's what I did over the past week! Took last night off intentionally so I don't burn myself out, but I think 7 nights of writing is my longest streak ever. I'm proud of myself!<br /><br />I've been trying to push him out of my head because he shouldn't matter anymore, but when he e-mails me to ask about the novel, that is un-ignore-able. I write back although I really shouldn't, and then he lingers in my head for hours.<br /><br />Some days my main character and I are apparently not so different after all.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-12805548576747020722010-04-05T18:34:00.001-07:002010-04-05T18:39:51.647-07:00If...I write a chapter a day, this book will be done in 9 months. Like a baby. Which is fitting, since writing this novel feels like I'm giving birth. The mania, cravings, ups and downs (but luckily not the weight gain!).<br /><br />One chapter = 1-2 single-spaced typed pages (12-point font). The goal: 300 pages. I'm not holding myself to that, exactly. If I've said all I have to say and I'm only at 250 pages, then I'm only at 250 pages. If I need to use more than 300 pages to write this, then I do, and I will.<br /><br />I'm giving myself what I call a creative structure. Making myself focus on two things outside of my day job: writing this novel and working out. If I can work out once a day and write one chapter a day, it's not too huge of a time drain, and it will keep me in a healthy pattern. If I give myself <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> much structure, I freak out, get rebellious, and do exactly 0% of what I'm supposed to do. This seems like the perfect compromise.<br /><br />I anticipate writing another chapter tonight--as I have done for the past two nights. And the really good news? I'm liking what I'm writing. I'm liking it a <span style="font-style: italic;">lot</span>.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-52629320615884734592010-04-04T15:33:00.000-07:002010-04-04T15:38:41.911-07:00You...asked me how the novel was going.<br /><br />I toyed with sending various responses, including:<br /><br />"I can write you SO much better than you actually are."<br /><br />"Fabulously! It's 5 AM and here I am, still at it..."<br /><br />"Too slow. Never enough time."<br /><br />"It's going. I miss you."<br /><br />"You are infinitely less annoying in the book than you are in real life--three cheers for artistic license!"<br /><br />"Didn't I ask you nicely to stop contacting me?"<br /><br />"You'll really regret your stupidity when I'm a famous writer."<br /><br />But I finally settled on this: "Every time I remember meeting my muse, I smile a smile that is completely unique to that memory, and I'm flooded with inspiration again. I have to write this book so it can do to others what my muse's work has done to me."<br /><br />Diplomatic and truthful, saying so much without really saying much at all.<br /><br />In case you're wondering, the person who sent me the letter is not my muse--but he knows who is.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-77890375872145432242010-02-06T18:03:00.000-08:002010-02-06T18:09:02.379-08:00Progress feels wonderful!<span style="font-family:georgia;">I wrote three chapters tonight.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">There wasn't any big epiphany or anything. I just, like, wandered over to the computer, sat down Indian-style on my chair, and brought up the file. Started to write.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">The chapters were not lengthy, but they were also not easy. To some degree, each one is a little sliver of a certain type of heartbreak.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Ironically, I'm convinced the reason I was able to write--and write without even a shred of my usual writer's mania in me--is because I'm presently very, very happy. I'm nervous because I want this happiness to stick with me for a long, long time. I hope it will, feel like it will, but--of course--am mildly terrified that it won't.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I keep trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter, that I don't need anyone else to make me happy, but I have to admit, this is the first time in a long time that I've felt this amazing, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I was able to write so fluidly. My head is in the right place. And may this be just the beginning...</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-87815519931689064462009-12-03T20:04:00.000-08:002009-12-03T20:06:46.310-08:00I know I'm getting serious......because I bought writer food tonight.<br /><br />And for me, "writer food" is always really kind of bizarre. or, at the very least, the combination of said items is bizarre.<br /><br />Blueberry juice.<br /><br />Watermelon juice.<br /><br />Alcohol.<br /><br />Fudge Stripes cookies.<br /><br />Microwaveable sweet potatoes.<br /><br />A honkin' slab of carrot cake.<br /><br />Fondue cheese.<br /><br />Yeah, I'm a weirdo.<br /><br />But it's a good thing, because if I were normal, I'd kind of be a really sucky writer. ;)Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-28894954767291407982009-11-30T00:22:00.000-08:002009-11-30T00:27:22.055-08:00A little step in the right direction.<span style="font-family: georgia;"><br />So on Friday, I met an author--an </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">actual published author</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">--who has offered to send my finished book to her agent.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">After I pretty much picked myself up off the floor after hearing that, I decided I'd really better get crackin' on this whole writing thing. I wanted motivation, and now I </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">have </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">motivation.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Stay tuned...</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-24543149850136773892009-11-09T21:10:00.001-08:002009-11-09T21:13:12.767-08:00I always said......that someday, an album--one that I'd listened to before, but had never really <span style="font-style: italic;">felt </span>anything for--would hit me. I didn't know when, but I knew that it would.<br /><br />Tonight is that "when."<br /><br />There's a song on there that reminds me of Riley, of things that he will be thinking and doing toward the end of the book.<br /><br />There are a couple songs there that remind me of Sasha.<br /><br />All of these songs are gorgeous, just fucking <span style="font-style: italic;">gorgeous</span>.<br /><br />I wish it hadn't taken me so long to discover the absolute freakin' <span style="font-style: italic;">majesty </span>of this album...regardless, I'm glad I finally did discover it.<br /><br />Right here, right now, with a writing blitz ahead of me in the next few days, this album feels like the absolute perfect companion.Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202793336239316282.post-68000178345819838802009-10-18T22:05:00.000-07:002009-10-18T22:09:39.129-07:00Discoveries.<span style="font-family: georgia;"><br />I've been off on a few...</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">adventures</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">...lately.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Sometimes, in trying to find out who you are, or who your character is, you must first find out what you and she </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">are not</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">There is a characteristic that my main character and I have in common, and I now know a few things that she and I are not. Which means I'm just a few steps closer to finding out exactly what we </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">are</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">. (And for the record, those "are nots"? I'm glad for them. Really, </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">really </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">glad.)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">My writing starts again, full-force, at the beginning of November...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Onward and upward!</span>Bellamy Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05472734267402190190noreply@blogger.com0